My Demented Mom

5 million Americans suffer from Dementia. My mom is one of them. A site for young adult caregivers struggling and coping with "the long goodbye."

I have a message for my mother’s friends, family and acquaintances: She’s still alive. My mother’s heart still beats. Though she might not be able to talk to you, walk with you, or share a laugh with you, she’s still here. She’s still alive. If you spend any amount of time with her, you’ll quickly […]

This week’s New Yorker magazine features a fantastic article by Rebecca Mead called, The Sense of an Ending. I encourage you to read this article, which talks about innovative ways to care for people living with dementia. The star of this story is Tena Alonzo, the director of education and research at the Beatitudes Campus […]

It was around 8pm last night when I started watching some of the videos I had taken of my mom. In the more recent ones, she is yelling — a lot. That’s all she can do. She can’t talk. I take these videos because, I feel like people don’t believe me when I say, ‘I […]

If you’re reading this blog because you have a parent dying from Frontotemporal dementia, I have bad news: things are going to get worse. That is a fact. No point in sugar coating the truth, right? There is no happy ending, no light at the end of the tunnel (unless you accept death as light), […]

A MUST, MUST, MUST read that appeared in New York Magazine by Michael Wolff On the way to visit my mother one recent rainy afternoon, I stopped in, after quite some constant prodding, to see my insurance salesman. He was pressing his efforts to sell me a long-term-care policy with a pitch about how much […]

This is a controversial matter……. I don’t even know what to say about it……….. my mother is on antipsychotics that were given to her by a trained psychiatrist to “stabilize” her during her month-long stay at a geriatric psych unit. They do this……….. stabilizing…………… because many facilities (even the “memory care” units) won’t accept behavioral […]

An article, which appeared in The New York Times, about a wife and her husband who has Frontotemporal dementia really hit home with me……. I wish this article came out five or six years ago…… For me, reading this, well, I felt some comfort………… like when they talked about shoplifting …………… knowing that it wasn’t my […]

………………………….Can make for a pretty complicated relationship. Actually, I just saw the comedy Friends With Benefits last night and wanted to share because the movie touches on Alzheimer’s disease…………. Now, most times, I take issue with how news, movies and TV shows portray dementia……………… they typically avoid the grotesque, that is, the disease is wrapped up in a […]

I got the call while I was on assignment in Tucson with a colleague. “I need to talk to you about your mom. She’s not fitting in.” Of course she’s not. She has Frontotemporal dementia. She yells. You knew this. You accepted her knowing she would yell. I hate you. I returned to our table. […]

There’s been a lot of stories in the news this week about NAPA and a push to find a cure for Alzheimer’s disease by 2025. USA Today had an article entitled, U.S. Launches National War on Alzheimer’s. Well, we’ve seen what happens when America goes to war. I absolutely applaud the push towards massive action […]

I’ve been hearing a lot of adult diaper jokes lately………………… I don’t know if that’s just how the universe works because the universe, in all of its infinite wisdom, is actually a really big dick……………………………. or I just happen to be more in tune with adult diapers since I buy them often. I don’t find […]

Just found out about another of mother’s new habits today…………….. apparently, she digs into her diaper, pulls out her own feces and tries to eat it. OK, not just tries, but has actually had some success. I sat at the counter staring at the fake granite as the owner of the home and a caregiver […]

Almost anyone dying from dementia suffers from behaviors. Behaviors are simply part of the game when it comes to this disease… BUT, there are “behaviors” and then there are “behaviors….” something no one can clearly define. Here is my personal definition (and opinion because I’m a writer, not a doctor): Bad behavior – throwing your […]

Keeping mom at home is becoming increasingly difficult and stressful. I’ve found a home that I think will be a good fit — as good as they get. It has a solid reputation both locally and nationally. Still, it’s a home. Or more accurately, a floor. A floor filled with people who sit in wheelchairs […]

It’s been a while since my last post. Sorry about that. New job and all… these blog posts are sometimes tough to write… not because it’s especially difficult to express myself, but rather because I feel like we’re in a bit of a lull. Nothing is really happening with my mother. She’s mostly the same. […]


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