My Demented Mom

5 million Americans suffer from Dementia. My mom is one of them. A site for young adult caregivers struggling and coping with "the long goodbye."

It was around 8pm last night when I started watching some of the videos I had taken of my mom. In the more recent ones, she is yelling — a lot. That’s all she can do. She can’t talk. I take these videos because, I feel like people don’t believe me when I say, ‘I …

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Five Survival Tips for Caregivers

February 13, 2013

My mom isn’t yelling much. This is a new development. It wasn’t long ago that she would howl when I would walk into her room. “Shhhhh. It’s OK. Shhhhh. I’m here. Shhhhh.”  She’d turn her head, look at me with this terribly anguished, almost twisted face, and yell. “Shhhhhhh. I love you. Shhhhhhhh.” I would …

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When it comes to dementia and demented events, there are very few things that actually disturb me anymore…………….. or, I should say, disturb me for extended periods of time. After all, I’ve been dealing with my mother’s decline for eight years or 2,920 days…………………………….. that’s a long time to get used to the grotesque. And …

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………………………….Can make for a pretty complicated relationship. Actually, I just saw the comedy Friends With Benefits last night and wanted to share because the movie touches on Alzheimer’s disease…………. Now, most times, I take issue with how news, movies and TV shows portray dementia……………… they typically avoid the grotesque, that is, the disease is wrapped up in a …

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I’ve been contemplating this idea of “walking grief” lately…….. mostly, I’m just trying to describe how I feel………….. I’m not always sad, I have sad days, but I’m not sad. On the flipside, I’m not happy either; I have happy moments; moments that make me laugh; but I would not call this phase of my …

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The Sacramento Bee interviewed me for a story about early-onset Alzheimer’s… the piece ran last week. Not sure how much attention or awareness I brought to the issue, but hopefully, my tiny part in this story will get more people thinking… dementia is not an old-person’s disease. People as young as 30 or 40 have …

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I’m feeling lonely again. I hate this feeling. It’s a feeling usually mixed with sadness and hurt. Potent combo. Can leave you in a funk for days…. A little context………………… my dad and I are once again talking about nursing homes…. mom is just getting to that point where caregiving is difficult. She’s having more …

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My mom turns 74 today. She has no idea that today’s her birthday. She doesn’t even know I’m coming over to ring in her big 7-4. I bought her hot pink nail polish, a pair of earrings and Almond Joy. Happy Birthday mommy.

I don’t know if I’m a good daughter…. My two cousins and aunt (mom’s sister and her two nephews)  blasted me a few months ago because of the name of the blog… My DEMENTED Mom. The word demented when translated into Spanish is apparently a not very kind word. I can’t say much about that. …

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I suspect not. My time with mom, no matter how brief (or how long), is a time for me to think about my role as her daughter — successes, failures, unmitigated disasters and the like. This past Sunday, as she yelled at the two women in the pew to move because she is Margarita Ritchie …

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I’ve promised anonymity……………….. thank you for contributing to My Demented Mom. Think this piece beautifully captures the grotesque pain. A Little Dead Inside…………………….. My couples therapist tells me that I am a little dead inside.  This is her way of saying that I am living life with the volume turned down.  That I am unresponsive. …

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