Sometimes, the Sharpie is Mightier than the Sword … A Caregiver’s Sidekick

Purple Sharpie…. for added whimsy

The days are finally cooling off following a blistering summer, and now it’s time to get mom ready for the chillier a.m. temps. Another blanket…. it’ll probably get lost, like they always do…….. still, I label — like an obsessed madwoman, I label everything, leaving little room for mix-ups, even though mix-ups occur and often. I have decided that it might be a good idea to invest in Sharpie stock………………. if you have a loved one in a nursing or assisted living home, you know what I mean. I can’t tell you how many Sharpies I’ve gone through, labeling my mother’s clothes, only to see them on the back of another resident. It happens. Just let it go. Keep on labeling. Indeed, it’s what we do. Yes, it’s just one intsy-wintsy aspect of what we do, but, truly, spend 30 minutes Sharpie-ing clothes, blankets, shoes and you’ll quickly realize, that’s 30 minutes of your life — wasted……………………………. plus the unintended high (or headache) from inhaling Sharpie fumes. I have lots of Sharpies. Frankly, I think the Alzheimer’s Association should sell purple Sharpies since we all need Sharpies…………. what a great way to raise money — I mean, they would make such fantastic stocking stuffers…………… and with the increased number of people set to develop the disease, well, Sharpies are certainly going to be in demand. Sharpie probably has no idea how valuable their product is to caregivers……………………. and really, they ought to donated $$$$ to the Alzheimer’s Association and/or other organizations around the globe that are committed to finding an effective treatment……………….after all, we’re a unique segment of Sharpie’s business, help a sister out!

When I buy a Sharpie, I buy it for color — will it show up on her clothes or a thick blanket? — and girth. I like thicker Sharpies. They get the job done more efficiently as you can see by the above photograph, plus it holds up when washed repeatedly. Of course, when I’m feeling fabulous, I opt for silver……………….. unfortunately, it doesn’t always show up so well, nor does it hold up following multiple washings, but it just feels magical. I know what your thinking, but hush. It’s my silver lining. Let’s face it, there is no happy ending at the end of this grim fairy tale, no light at the end of the tunnel…………………………. nothing……………………. but this grotesque disease……………. and if all it takes is a silver Sharpie to please me, so be it.

And besides, our days our numbered. My mom has a chest cold with a mucousy cough……….. I don’t know if it’ll get worse.

What I do know is that nature will take its course………………………. her maker will decide what happens next.

3 Comments

  1. This story resonates with me. My father lived in a memory care unit in another state. (He died October 2007.) I visited him at least once per month. and more often as his disease progressed. I would enter the unit punching in their secret code, and see my father’s shirt walking down the hallway, without my father in it. I didn’t do the Sharpie or name labeling identification tasks, but fortunately each time I saw my father, he was respectfully clothed and put together. (And the staff had no way of knowing I was coming so they weren’t sprucing my dad up to impress a family member.)
    If, God help me, this circumstance rears its ugly ahead again, I will become fast friends with a thick black Sharpie.

  2. Finally someone else experiencing the same problems I am. I thought I was just overacting because she is my mother and I Know Her… Better than they do. I am a nurse… A good one… But the nursing home and hospice is making me feel like I don’t t know what I’m talking about. I’m very distrought…..

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