And Then She Was Gone…

my demented mom

My mother passed away yesterday morning. She is finally free.

I love you mom.


  1. Kathy. I’m so sorry no words just tears for this journey. I hope to still hear your voice as you continue to process. You have kept my feet firmly planted. Your story is amazing and you are a testament to your mother’s love. W

  2. Been thru this journey. Thank you for sharing yours. Thank you for being so honest. Peace be with you.

  3. It certainly has been the long goodbye, hasn’t it? Thank you for sharing your mother’s journey through this hellish disease and the lessons you have learned as a family caregiver. I now have a better understanding of frontotemporal dementia and I hope others do as well.

  4. Thoughts, prayers and hugs are with you Kathy. You have been a great daughter and your blog has raised so many important issues. Take comfort in your memories and that you have done a great thing.

  5. What a blessing to feel that freedom – after all you have both been through – may your grieving and healing now be less of a struggle than the coping was for so many years. I am wishing, hoping and praying that you may feel peace and strength in abundance.

  6. What a journey,Kathie. Both you and your mom have been very brave. Thanks for sharing your experiences. My condolences, Jennifer

  7. Dear Kathy,
    My heart aches for you today. September 1st will be the one year anniversary since my mom passed away, almost seven years after her Early Onset Alzheimer’s diagnosis. The grief is multi-layered: what she lost while she was still living, what her family experienced during her decline, the final (but not last) loss of her death. There’s also tremendous relief in knowing she’s no longer trapped in a body that betrayed her. She’s no longer dependent like an infant. She is no longer confused about her surroundings or her symptoms. There really aren’t words to describe the combination of joy and sorrow I’ve experienced in the last year. I’m thinking of you this evening, sending hugs your way. I hope you will experience happy memories in the coming days and weeks, even as you mourn.

  8. So sorry for your loss, Kathy, and for all the pain you’ve been through. No matter how ready we think we are (my mother died after nearly 2 1/2 years of brain tumor and its attendant woes), it’s still shocking and deeply peculiar. Now’s the time to be kind to yourself, let others help you. Feel what you feel; relief is a big part of it. And keep writing — you have a very distinct voice.

  9. I am sorry for your loss. I lost my mother to dementia this summer also. It is a loss, no matter how much you believe your loved one is now free.

  10. My heartfelt condolences go out to you Kathy. I know it has been quite the journey. I too have a mother who 5 years ago was diagnosed with FTD. It has been a roller coaster of days,events,and emotions. I have felt comfort in your blog because as you know friends and family don’t really “get it”. I have appreciated your openness as it truly has provided me with strength knowing that I am not alone…people like you “get it” You would often write so much of what I had been feeling but unable to put in to words myself… and for that I thank you.
    I do believe in heaven and I believe your mom is dancing and singing and talking and laughing and is finally free of the bondage that this terrible disease had shackled her by.

    One day at a time…

  11. HI Kathy,
    I’m so sorry my response is so late. I meant to get back to you sooner. I think when I saw you post it kind of grabbed me around the heart as the passing of my Mother is so new and raw yet. Please know I am hear if you need to talk, vent or cry. I do get the roller coaster of emotions you are most likely feeling about now. You have been a brave and wonderful daughter and advocate for your lovely mother. I hope you find peace in all you have done and given her on this journey of dementia. I’m sure your Mother is looking down with a smile beaming in pride, as she now watches over you.

    Lori La Bey

  12. Thank you for sharing your and your mother’s life. My mother was diagnosed with FTD in May 2013 and I desperately needed to identify with someone sharing the same struggles. Your words have helped me endure a very difficult time. I hope to have your strength as we continue our spiral into our abyss.

  13. I am so new at tweeting but want to reply to your lovely blog. My mom has had dementia/Alzheimer’s for 8 yrs. This is a test run. Oh, I’m old so it takes me a while to learn all this newfangled mess!

  14. I had found your blog a few months ago and have visited when time allowed. I regret not having posted until now. I felt awful to hear that your Mom had passed, but yes, she is finally free. I lost my mother in September of this year to this dreaded disease and feeling pretty low this holiday season, as I know you must be feeling. I hope you will be keeping up your blog, even though. I am so sorry for your loss. Bask in knowing that you took very good care of her.

  15. 2 years and 1 day past your mothers passing, I found your site. That cannot be coincidence. I want to hug you for your loss and thank you for the light you’ve provided me with your blogs. Just thank you. May your heart stay happy and spirits lifted.

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